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30 year old Georgia teacher Tara Grinstead missing
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
Posts: 9273
Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Wed Sep 05, 2007 12:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For those who have posted elsewhere that they believe Tara left willingly without her cell phone that night, wouldn't it be unusual to come home at 11 on a Saturday night, put your cell phone in a charger, and then willingly leave in someone else's car at midnight or later?

Oh, and did I mention this was Ocilla? Where exactly does one willingly go at that time of night with someone else, and oops, don't want to be bothered, let's leave the cell phone?

And why is the disarray in the bedroom with a clock under her bed and her lampshade knocked cockeyed ignored by those who think she willingly took off in the middle of the night?

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Fri Sep 14, 2007 10:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Concerning Tara's comings and goings in a small town like Ocilla around the time she disappeared, the pageant she helped in was in another town, so part of being in a small town is going to bigger towns for events.

The barbeque party to watch a football game was a couple of blocks away, with friends and co-workers (her principal or school board member was the neighbor who had the barbeque, IIRC).

So big town suburbs or small town, friends and neighbors gather in back yards for get togethers. But going to a pageant in another town was a coming and going.

By the way, from the info we have Tara was carrying multiple classes for her advanced degree and was driving to other towns for those classes multiple nights a week.

One of the required duties is to investigate all the people she came into contact with in all those comings and goings, but the irony is that in disappearing from her home in the middle of the night on a weekend night it rules out being attacked on one of those coming amd goings or even of being followed directly home.

Would have required a stalker, which is hard to do in a small town neighborhood without being noticed.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Tue Sep 18, 2007 11:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The standard MO for a silent ex is to give an interview right after the woman disappears intimating she is a suicidal runaway or run off with some unknown stranger.

Then they hide behind a defense lawyer and refuse to answer questions from the police and otherwise help the police in the investigation, or for that matter, answer questions from anyone.

Once they get their unwitnessed version of a hysterically suicidal woman out, they go silent.

Silent ex. There's one behind almost every missing woman.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 6:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

In considering what can best be done to move Tara's case forward constructively, I would say that at this point unless something could be determined that would help indicate where Tara's remains were, that it isn't much help.

My point is that searching for Tara's remains is the only useful thing to do now. Even when we have almost universal agreement that the silent ex has made her disappear, nothing much can be done unless and until the missing woman is found.
That's not easy to say, but unfortunately true now for several missing women cases.

That's why they keep disappearing.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Fri Nov 23, 2007 11:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The people close to Tara are known, and possible connections to places they might have hid Tara's body are as known as they're going to be. So I think that not much useful is accomplished in assigning percentages of possibility to the small number of men close to Tara.

Good people in Ocilla have already spemt considerable time and effort searching for Tara's remains, but unfortunately, either we wait for another turtle hunter's dog to come across a skull or a more systematic effort is continued.

But silent ex's have become very successful at hiding women's bodies, and I believe we're going to have to take a different tact these days. We have to put into place a system integrated with 911 that lets any woman who feels threatened, or feels she will be threatened when trying to break away, have a cell phone whose signals are forwarded by phone companies to monitoring centers that record their whereabouts.

And just as importantly, record where and when the signals stop.

We also should provide to any woman being threatened by a man, such as going through divorce or estrangements, especially women in close living quarters with the man, with a panic button transmitter to wear which would transmit location and also make a 911 voice call.

We have to protect women from disappearing at the hands of control freak ex's, otherwise known as silent ex's after the woman disappears.

rd
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jane



Joined: 22 Sep 2002
Posts: 3225

PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 12:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hi rd. Yes, I was thinking along the lines of prevention also, since it is so dismal once the situation goes out of control. (Out of the right kind of control, but into the obsessive abuser's control).

But I keep going further back - to when girls are being raised, when they begin dating. I wish I had the answers. But, certainly there should be better resources for women in dire straits, as you say.
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 1:15 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Who knew that men, granted they were control freaks, but still supposedly honorable men such as cops, would become so brazen about making an inconvenient woman disappear?

They are as brazen as the sexual predators stalking our streets looking for their next victim.

We need to monitor those we know are predators, and monitor endangered women from the unknown.

The predators have become brazen. We need to respond just as forcefully to protect our society. It's too late when we are only trying to figure out where the body was hidden.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Tue Nov 27, 2007 8:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Elizabeth Smart's father described a police lie detector test as three hours of hell. Gary Condit's lawyer Geragos described his client's lie detector test as three questions, three pre-arranged, prepared for questions. That isn't a lie detector test, and to even refer to it as one is to play into the hands of people like Harper and his defense lawyer.

Look at the case of almost every missing woman with a silent ex, and you'll find a lawyer denouncing lie detector tests while simultaneously arranging for one for their poor "misunderstood" client.

My heart weeps.

Yes, part of that hell is being told you're failing, you're a liar, tell us what really happened. Innocent people stand up to it with the conscience of an innocent person.

People who have something to hide know they can't stand up to it. Just a token statement in profile on what it's like to have been stalked by the now missing woman is all they have to offer, thank you.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Thu Nov 29, 2007 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The very notion of Tara "leaving" her house with someone at midnight or later is quite ridiculous.

Also, any comments from friends of Tara about leaving in a normal situation are not applicable to the middle of the night.

The reason silent ex's only token statement is an implication the missing woman is crazy is for reasons like this.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The disarray in Tara's bedroom does not sound staged to me. (a clock under the bed? I don't think so).

Also, not a chance Tara leaves her house with someone, quite frankly at 5 in the morning, to clear the air or whatever from a confrontation.

Yes, the person only needs the keys but criminy, they are simulating a woman running away. The ex always hides the purse.

The clock under the bed is more of something not found and straightened up versus something deliberately messed up. The lampshade may have not been able to be straightened up or was made wobbly and collapsed. It's disarray, but signs of disarray that creep through, not deliberate.

The shoes are the same thing. It's rather obvious. The missing woman if found needs shoes, otherwise it points at someone kidnapping her from her bedroom rather than running off and being murdered by an unknown stranger.

You have to think like a desperate man who has to get rid of his ex-girlfriend's body after he is driven to strangle her for probably multiple reasons.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Sun Dec 09, 2007 7:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think it's a psychological thing with these type of people, men who can sort of disassociate themselves from making an inconvenient woman disappear and wash their hands of them, so to speak.

Scott Peterson did it and Hans Reiser is being tried right now in Oakland for it. I believe his ex-wife is also in San Francisco Bay weighted down with his car seat, which is also missing.

I only know of graves being dug for two of the missing women, and both silent ex's had accomplices who helped bury them. There might be more but none that come to mind at the time.

Of course the landfill thing is the other psychological type, throw the woman away like trash.

You have to consider the mentality to do this to start with. Some really strange pychology at work, which is why they are afraid of making more than a token statement or two about how the inconvenient woman is a suicidal runaway and they're a victim, which would reveal too much of that dark psychology lurking in their minds.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: Thu Dec 13, 2007 10:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Concerning rumors that a scream was reported to police that night, I'd be real surprised if a scream was actually reported (and apparently wasn't). That would require Tara getting into a vehicle (her's or the person she would allegedly be driving off with) in the middle of the night, then supposedly being surprised at some point as the vehicle pulls over and she is attacked.

Basically, from every standpoint, there's no reason for either Tara or someone she knew to want to ride off. Women don't get woke up by a knock on the door (or worse, someone letting themselves in with a key) at 4:30 in the morning or sometime in the middle of the night and say, "well, I'm going to church this morning but sure, let's go for a drive because my goodness, it's so difficult to talk in my house, and of course I want to talk to someone knocking on my door in the middle of the night."

And from the other perspective, the person who made her disappear, trying to talk her into walking to her car or his car because, gee, it's so much easier than carrying her.

Whatever happened happened in Tara's bedroom, and there is disarray that shows she grabbed at things around her probably as she was overcome, but in overcoming her an attacker would have made sure to prevent her from screaming.

Tara and Laci Peterson were probably overcome the same way.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: Mon Dec 17, 2007 1:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's extremely difficult for me to believe multiple people are involved in Tara's murder. Every missing woman case that I know that that happened one of the partipants turned states evidence and the silent ex was convicted (or are being tried or probably will be tried).

Not a whole lot of cases to make a generalization, but just extremely difficult to have people involved who have the same level of emotional investment and blood on their hands as a silent ex who acted alone.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 1:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One would hope that if something such as black sweat pants and a pair of gray tennis shoes listed by the FBI as missing and presumed last clothes worn were to be fundamentally wrong and unknown to the family, that we would hear about it.

Is this missing pair of sweat pants the type that Tara would have slept in?

With a purse often missing with the woman by someone wanting to make it look like she ran away, the only thing I can see that possibly was picked up to take with her was a pair of shoes.

And she could easily have been wearing them, for example it's probable Tara answered the door to someone she knew early that morning, and it wouldn't have been unusual to slip tennis shoes on without tieing them.

Although I've posted that the abductor wouldn't want it to be obvious that the missing woman didn't take any shoes with her, I'm also not sure that it could be easily determined, and it may not have been an issue anyway if she was wearing them.

All in all, I really don't see anything that points to much manipulation here other than grabbing Tara's purse.

rd
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
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Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Wed Dec 19, 2007 2:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The main reason these silent ex's hide an inconvenient woman's body is so they can say she was acting crazy and suicidal and ran off with some stranger. And no one can do anything until if and when the missing woman's body is found.

But the other is that after exposure to the elements, DNA evidence is destroyed. Also very little can be determined about the circumstances surrounding her death. As in Chandra's case, nothing was able to be determined or done even after her remains were found a year later.

rd
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