www.justiceforchandra.com

[Darla]

Hi All;
It is 7: pm Tuesday evening, and I just got off the phone with Maryn.
She didn't seem to want anything in particular and didn't ask for her birth certificate this time.
We chit-chatted for awhile, and I found out that her baby was born in a hospital, (thank goodness) and her boyfriend's name is Luis.
I asked for the address and phone number and she himed-hawed a bit, and said Luis's mother was not home. There is a good chance Maryn does not know them, or has been told not to give them out.
This time Maryn asked about her other brothers and sisters. I told her Taylor (little sis) has a letter and a picture she drew and wants to send them to her.
I could hear the baby in the background, and I asked Maryn if she was a good mom. She said "ya I am, just ask Luis's mother".
I think it is a good sign that Maryn asked about the rest of the family. Since the ice is broken so to speak, I am hoping that each call will get easier for her, and we will hear from her more frequently.
And------when it was time to end the call, Maryn said "I love you" first.
Ok guys, on one hand I am so very thankful Maryn called, and that she is alive and ok. On the other hand, now that I know she is ok, I am so very ticked that she put us through hell with worry.
I certainly do not want to push her away by being angry or putting her on the spot and asking a bunch of questions she may or may not be able to answer. Am I just supposed to forgive and forget?
I would really appreciate your thoughts, ideas, and suggestions about this.
Thinks for listening. [/b]
_________________
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

[gozgals]

Darla


I'm elated Maryn called but before I give you any advice or any of my own opinions on your situation, I would like to think further on how I can contribute.

I am, and I know you are thankful she has been found and in touch. My first thought is to concentrate on that and move from there and then deal with all the feelings of being ticked off. I would not scare Maryn away or let her know you are having all these mixed emotions. I would hide this from her to keep her in the fold.

I have much more I would like to add but thought I would think it through and start here. I understand your feelings completely. It is quite a dilemma and must be overwhelming for you. I'm so happy you are sharing these feelings with us.

love
Goz

[jane]

Hi Darla,

It's a very tricky situation and your mixed feelings are perfectly normal and understandable. But, I agree with Goz that it's best if you can keep your disappointment, hurt and anger to yourself (well, away from Maryn, anyway - let us know, though, if that helps!)

You were Maryn's mother and caregiver for her first years - now you no longer have the role of caregiver. It sounds as though Maryn and the baby are in good hands, so that is a blessing.

I guess you can just try to take it slowly and hope that one day you will have a good relationship with Maryn and her inlaws. Meanwhile, it has to be very difficult to deal with the hurt you must feel, Darla.

I guess, try to just focus on what a wonderful thing it is just to know Maryn is alive and well - something you didn't have just a few weeks ago. Soak up all the joys of motherhood that come with your other children.

I don't know exactly, but I know you'll find a way.
_________________
"They must find it difficult, those who have taken authority as truth, rather than truth as authority".
Gerald Massey