www.justiceforchandra.com

[Darla]

Hi All;
I wanted to let everyone here know that my daughter Maryn called us today.
She has been in Mexico for the entire two years. Maryn is living with her boyfriend and his family. Maryn has a ten month old baby girl she named
Elizabeth, and she says she is happy.
Maryn must have felt some sort of connection to her family, as my mother's name was Elizabeth, and my older daughter's middle name is Elizabeth.
Maryn wants her birth certificate so that she can come across the border to visit.
I told Maryn that we never knew if she was alive or dead, and asked why she didn't at least call us. She said in the beginning she was afraid, and the longer she was gone the harder it got and the more afraid she was.
Maryn said she would call next week. I guess if I have any hope of reestablishing a relationship with my daughter, things will have to be on her terms.
I am feeling so many things right now. Some good and some not so good.
I am overjoyed our prayers were answered, I am happy, I am confused, I am ticked off, disappointed, and hurt, and many more. I hope I have the strength to work through it all.
Maryn cried when I told her that her oldest brother passed away in July. Before that I was the only one in tears. She wasn't able to talk after that.
I truly hope Maryn will call next week like she said she would. And if she doesn't, well then at least I know that my daughter is ok.
I will fill you in if she calls next week.
Thank you all for your help and concern. It really meant alot.
_________________
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

[gozgals]

Darla, this is wonderful news. I'm so happy and I'm sure everyone here is that your daughter Maryn is alive and well. This is the kind of news we all pray for and usually do not get.

I can understand all the mixed emotions you must have and will also have to sort through. This, of course will take you some time and you will come to terms with all these emotions when you are able to deal with them.

I do hope you receive another call from Maryn as promised. I'm just elated.

I'm also sorry about the loss of Maryn's brother. Such sadness.

Please let me know if you need anything else and once again, thanks for sharing this joyous outcome with us.

Always
Goz

[jane]

Yes, Darla! It is wonderful news!

I'm also sorry to hear about the loss of your son - all of this has to be very difficult to deal with.

Something that I try to tell myself when I'm feeling bad about things I have no control over is, "It's not your fault." It's not your fault, Darla, about these difficult losses - as long as we love other people we will always feel pain when we lose them for any reason, but it's not wrong of us to care, of course!

From what I have read about FAS, the people with the condition cannot really explain why they do what they do, so try not to take it personally (I know it's easier said than done, though!)

Anyhow, it's wonderful that you know Maryn is alive and well and that she intends to visit!
_________________
"They must find it difficult, those who have taken authority as truth, rather than truth as authority".
Gerald Massey

[Darla]

Hi Jane.
Thanks for your support.
You know, my head tells me it's not my fault. and I really do know it isn't.
However, my heart tells me if only. It's the if onlys that seem to get to me.
If only I had been a better mom, if only I had listened more, if only I had given in to her demands, and on and on. Guess I need to take those words out of my vocabulary.
You are right about people with FAS. Maryn could not explain a lot of the things she did. And if it was much longer than an hour when she was asked about it, she probably didn't remember doing it either. Her short term memory is shot, but there were times she could fool you. Although her special ed teachers were very aware of the FAS, even they did not understand it. One day she would know all of her times tables, two days later she couldn't tell you what 2x3 was. At the beginning of every school year, I would receive a phone call from the teacher telling me how Maryn was disrupting the class with her "I don't know" behavior.
And Maryn just didn't get cause and effect. Maryn would understand the rules. Maryn would be aware of the consequences. Maryn would go ahead and do it anyway. (AGAIN) When impulses would strike Maryn, she would act first, and maybe process the information later. I think the information was there, but her brain could not access it in time to prevent
the next disaster.
I could fill the page with more about FAS and how it effected not only Maryn, but all of the people close to her. I will save it for another day lol
I know it's not my fault, but if only???
_________________
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

[jane]

I know. Well, do keep in touch and let us know how things go.
_________________
"They must find it difficult, those who have taken authority as truth, rather than truth as authority".
Gerald Massey

[gozgals]

Hello Darla

Please keep us updated on the board if it is possible too, and thank you for explaining more to us about Maryn's condition.

Thank you for the kind letters mf.

I would like to follow her progress if you can share here too.

Always with care
Goz

And, it is not your Fault so please don't fall into that trap sweetie..

[Darla]

Hi All;
Thank you so much for your support and encouragement.
I must apologize for not getting back to you sooner. This has been a crazy and sad week.
We live in San Diego county, very close to where the fires are.
We received a reverse 911 call telling us to be prepared to evacuate at any time. Thank goodness we did not have to, however 1/4 million other people had to. Over 1600 homes were destroyed and some of the fires are not out yet. I can not imagine what it would be like to lose our home. This type of disaster makes you realize just how important your family and friends are.
Well-it has been a week now, and no other calls from Maryn. And that's ok.
Just so very glad to know she is alive and well. But if Maryn really wants her birth certificate, then she will most surely have to call us again. Someone suggested that perhaps Maryn needed her birth certificate to get married, and not for crossing the border. I hadn't even thought about that, but it does make sense.
I will do my best to get an address from her if she does call.
I spoke to our case manager at Missing Kids. He told me that they have a contact right in Maryn's area. He said if I could get her address they would send the contact to check things out. He would do it, without Maryn or the family even knowing he was around. In other words he would spy on the whole family. That's fine with me. Our case worker also reminded me that Maryn is an illegal alien in Mexico, and at any time for any reason she could be deported back to Calif. He also told us that the baby has dual citizenship, both here and in Mexico.
I promise I will let you know if and when Maryn calls again, if I get her address, or if anyone was able to check on her.
You all are great.
Take care and please pray for all those who have lost their homes or a loved one in the fires.
_________________
Don't drive faster than your guardian angel can fly.

[jane]

Hi Darla,

Great news about Maryn - that you have a contact who will make sure everything's OK with her. What a huge difference from the situation only a short time ago!

At church on Sabbath the California fires were mentioned in the closing prayer. Terrible losses there, but fortunately at least there have been very few deaths or injuries, so that is something to be thankful for. Let's hope the insurance companies come through - so far I haven't heard of them getting out of wild fire coverage the way they seem to do with other kinds of damage, but who knows what they'll try to pull?
_________________
"They must find it difficult, those who have taken authority as truth, rather than truth as authority".
Gerald Massey

[gozgals]

Hello Darla,

So sorry to hear that Maryn has not contacted you again but I'm sure after some time passes you will hear from her again. It must have been hard for her to make the initial phone contact with her family after being gone such a long length of time.

Thank you for the update darling and for keeping in touch with me on all your recent/past news. You are such a treasure to have in my life.

I found this to be very exciting news: