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James' post-9/11 novel

 
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fallout



Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Posts: 566
Location: The Great NorthEast

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 5:12 am    Post subject: James' post-9/11 novel Reply with quote

Apologies to all for my disappearances over the last few months and cheers to RD for his project!

I've been working on what I thought might be the first "post-9/11 novel" since the end of last Summer. After seeing the success of the 'Left Behind' novels of Tim Lahaye and Jerry Jenkins I thought maybe I was a little too late but then realized there might be some interest in understanding what has happened over the last ten or so years in America under the Bush-Clinton-Bush "leadership".

I researched the efforts of America's leading writers over the last few years and realized that there was not anyone addressing the present crisis in fiction.

But then I found an incredible book by Robert Ellis called "The Dead Room" which I must admit is the real First post 9/11 novel. I recommend it before any others!!!! Grab it at your local library or pay the modest $6.99 for the best eye on what's happened that I've seen yet.

However, I still feel that I have a little to add to the discussion so I'm continuing with the project.

Just for the fun of it here is my first chapter. I'm still fine tuning and hope that it surprises you.

Cheers,
James


Chapter One May Day

The green man up in the tall tree in Rock Creek Park laughed quietly as the dog walker passed underneath and cursed at his dog for stopping and barking at the tree. The walker looked up but with Green's skill at hiding in the treetops no one without the best infra red camera could tell that there was a strange man dangling thirty feet above. The dog knew it but had no way to communicate it to the walker. From up the path a striking woman in LL Bean casual called out to the dog walker.
"Freddy's going crazy here. He must have spotted something.." The man greeted her.
"Freddy, what do you have there boy? Good boy, what is it?" the woman knelt down to hold the retrievers face for a second and pat him."
She looked up to where the dog was howling but again the human sense failed and Green was invisible.
"C'mon boy lets go. We're all getting hungry here. " The woman might have been speaking to the dog or to her companion as she walked back down the path.
Green made a face at the dog who was turning back toward him even as his Master pulled and urged him forward down the path.

Green breathed in the fresh air of the early Spring and watched as the Sun started to descend. He began to move back into a position to come down when he noticed another couple walking along the path and down toward the remote edge of the hilly area where a precipitous drop onto broken rocks threatened the careless. The man seemed to know where he was going but his business suit seemed strange in the woods. The woman was much younger and was wearing a USC sweatshirt and jogging pants with her interesting hair tied back in a squirrel tail. They stopped at a log which overlooked the green expanse of wild growth around the sharp blocks below. As they sat down Green began to refigure his impression of a father and daughter out for a nature walk. In fact he knew that the nearby Nature Center was closed on Tuesdays and that unless you lived in the neighborhood or had a horse over at the stables that this was a strange place to be walking. The man's business attire indicated he had not had time to stop off at home and change before walking through the woods. They must have driven up to the Picnic area and pulled off the road. Yet, the man seemed to know the area well.

Green had probably seen twenty kids and five dog walkers from his perch since clambering up the ropes to the top of this tree today. Kids from the nearby schools loved the area and the people living in the houses down below loved to take their dogs for walks in this comfortable and popular wooded area. But the steep slope of the hill from the road below to the Picnic area above made it obvious who was from the area or its schools when they came from below and those who had driven up to the picnic area and walked down the horse trail to cut into the hiking area here. The man and the young woman were obviously coming from above.

As the sun began to set Green became a little discomforted by the fact that he felt trapped up in the tree. His car was a good half a mile down the road and he didn't want to be late for a phone call he expected from his fiancee in New York before she began her shift as a bartender at a hotel bar at 5 pm. Green had resisted getting one of the new cell phones but regretted it now. He had to get home but at the same time he was fascinated and in a way trapped by what he observed.

The older man indicated a spot on the log for his companion and sat very close to her as they looked straight ahead. The sun was at that odd angle that you only see a few times during the year- like a giant searchlight beaming straight ahead at you. Green was having difficulty seeing the faces because of the harsh sunlight. The young woman had her sunglasses on. Suddenly the older man put his arm behind the woman and took her head to turn it for a kiss. She responded to the kiss for a good amount of time and then pulled away sharply at the sound of another person walking toward them. It was a large person with long hair tied up in a ponytail. From the shape Green could not tell if it was a man or a woman.

It was at this moment that one of the local birds decided to drop a cool white substance on Green's blond hair. He didn't think he muttered the word "Shit!" out loud but the young woman turned and looked up into the tree at this spot, taking off her sunglasses and silhouetted by the beam of sunlight her face shone with a strange ineffable smile. A real Madonna smile as only Leonardo had ever gotten it. With this she stood up and greeted the large person coming toward the couple with a distinct change in her expression. It was a mix of fear and anger. The older man got up suddenly. He stood silently as the young woman said something sharply to him. The tall pony-tailed figure now stood behind the young woman as the businessman began to walk away. Green heard the woman scream out "You Bastard!". The tall figure pulled her in an opposite direction with enormous arms around her leading her away.
The older man walked back up the path and directly under Green's perch as the tall one and the young woman disappeared down around the curve of the lower path to the rocks below.

Green checked his watch and saw that it was almost 4:30. If he hurried down the rope and ran to his car he might just get home to his apartment on the West side of the park before his girlfriend's phone call. There were plans to make for the upcoming weekend and the weather looked like it would be beautiful. They should go to the mountains. They both loved the mountains and hadn't been out to Charlottesville since Julia left Georgetown at the beginning of the previous Summer for New York.
Her boss at the hotel bar had promised to let her know whether or not she could take off for the upcoming weekend. Green couldn't wait to find out and wanted to catch her as soon as she got to work.

Green began rapelling down the trunk of the decaying ash tree after looping and securing his rope on the firmest branch. Just as he was reaching the bottom he saw the tall figure approaching him in a hurry and with a purpose. He saw now that it was a large man, perhaps in his forties, with a 60's style ponytail and a weightlifter's arms. Green was a strong fellow himself and normally felt at ease in any situation that required a show of strength or will. But this one was bearing down on him in a more menacing way then he had ever seen. And, by the way, where was the girl?

"Excuse me, could I ask you a question?" The tall man calmly asked at a distance of about five feet away when he stopped with no sign of being out of breath.

"Uh, Sure." Green looked at the man's hands which were out in front of him in an almost prayerful manner.

"Well, you might have noticed a young lady that was just here a little while ago. I'm supposed to drive her back to her apartment but when she got to the car she mentioned that she might have dropped her sunglasses somewhere around here. I told her I'd come up and get them for her. But now I can't find them. Maybe you noticed some sunglasses?"

It was an odd question to be asking under the circumstances and Green wondered why the woman hadn't come along with the driver to help look for her own glasses.

"Um, I'm in a little bit of a hurry actually. I haven't seen any sunglasses." Green was terse and firm.

"Say, that's some nice rope you have there! Is it nylon?" The tall man asked.

"Its a nylon mix. Listen, good luck in finding the glasses. Be careful, it gets dark quickly in the woods here. "

"OK, buddy. You get home safe yourself!"

Something in the way the tall man said it that raised a chill on the backhairs as Green knelt to tie up his pack and get going. Green kept an eye on the pony-tailed man as he stood there for a moment longer than he should have if he was so concerned about finding lost property. But, then the tall man turned and walked back down the path the way he had come.

Green walked back up toward the picnic area and felt a colder chill as he thought about what he had just seen and heard. First of all, it made no sense at all for anyone to park down below the sloping hill to pick up someone in this part of the woods. The fellow's car should have been up along Park Drive. And why didn't the older man take the young woman with him to whatever vehicle he had waiting up above? The whole scene gave him the creeps.

He looked at his watch and saw that he had about fifteen minutes to get home. If he began a medium paced run he could reach his car in five minutes and pull into the driveway of his apartment in another ten. Just in time to get the call from Julia.

As he ran along the road toward the far side of the equitation field with its oddly shaped jumps for the specialty horses Green saw that a plain white econoline van had pulled up next to his jeep cherokee. Getting closer he saw that there were two men sitting in the van. Green hoped that he hadn't interrupted a drug deal.

Remembering some advice he'd gotten from his policeman brother in law once when they watched 'The Stranger Beside Me' about the Ted Bundy murders he headed straight for the passenger side of his jeep knowing that this confuses would be bad actors and kidnappers. Of course he didn't expect to be kidnapped. He wasn't the typical type to be kidnapped but who knows what kind of bizarre thinking goes on among the crime wave citizenry of DC and its throwback Virginia cousins.

Putting on his most serious I'm No Victim face as he turned the key in the passenger side lock Green slid in to his driver's seat and started the engine quickly. The econoline stayed put and he reached for a tape to inspire him to drive home efficiently- The wailing up and down Sax of Madness and "Night Boat to Cairo" entertained the waving trees as he made the turn at the dark part of Park Drive.

Green pulled up to his townhouse on Porter Road and bounded up the steps to his door. On entering he heard the phone begin to ring. He glanced at his watch. It was exactly five pm. He was right on time!
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jane



Joined: 22 Sep 2002
Posts: 3225

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 10:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

'S wonderful, James!
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propria



Joined: 20 Sep 2002
Posts: 630
Location: northern illinois

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 11:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

wtg, james!!

i really enjoy your writing style, which does a great job of drawing your reader into the scene ... you have a gift for descriptive phrases that has the effect of finding little treasures all through your work. i'm already looking forward to chapter two, so keep typing, ok?


nanci
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rd



Joined: 13 Sep 2002
Posts: 9273
Location: Jacksonville, FL

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 1:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A nice read, James. Looking forward to your story.

rd
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fallout



Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Posts: 566
Location: The Great NorthEast

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2004 4:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks guys for the encouragement. It makes a nice hobby and gives me an excuse to ask a few people some impertinent questions.

By the way, the story takes place between May 1, 2001 and 9/11/01.

James
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waveca



Joined: 08 Jan 2004
Posts: 14
Location: Toronto

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:05 am    Post subject: I'm hooked ! Reply with quote

A delightful read James ! Please continue...I may give up Y & R for this !=:)
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fallout



Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Posts: 566
Location: The Great NorthEast

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hello waveca!

I can only intrepret that as "The Young and the Restless". Ha hah.

Welcome and understand that Martin Chop is not neccesarily the nicest guy on the block and I see him as being played by Tim Robbins or John Savage in the Movie version. He's the "subject" of the series of mystery novels dealing with the bizarre conspiracy that confronts us all.

Cheers,
James
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fallout



Joined: 19 Sep 2002
Posts: 566
Location: The Great NorthEast

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 12:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Here's the last paragraph of the book as I figger it. Somehow I have to fill in the 300 pages in between:


8:45 A.M. Tuesday September 11, 2001

Martin walked out of the lobby of Elizabeth's apartment building and into one of the most brilliant blue-sky mornings he had ever seen. It reminded him of a few rare Summer days in his childhood when the clouds cleared and the air shimmered over the Potomac river as the planes passed gracefully from right to left on their approach to Washington National Airport as seen from his bedroom window at Hunting Towers. His thoughts were organized according to the brilliant contrast of Elizabeth's logical superiority and her demonic and uncontrollable needs. Priorities were dissolved and re-examined in every breath and every note of the music of her voice. The long night and the wine and the cigarettes were only a subltle aftertaste now mediated by the inexplicable feeling that at this odd point in the line of his life Martin finally understood the meaning of man's effort to build something that is more than just practical. There was a sublime meaning in the choices made by the architects and landscapers and engineers and stonemasons. Like the Prince who devoted the Taj Mahal to his lost Love and the publisher who built his Xanadu and the King who forswore his Kingdom and the master bulders of Chartres - Martin suddenly felt a pure understanding that transcended description. Elizabeth!! The small dancing atoms of inexplicable energy swept over him from their assembly points on the splashing Hudson. He looked at the giant cartoon clock in the instantly charming far shores of New Jersey. It was almost nine o' clock. The planes, the jets, arced down gracefully for their landings at Newark airport as the promise of America spread out before him like a Walt Disney map of the United States. Beyond his sight he knew that America was waking up in small suburban neighborhoods and patchwork farms and bow tie overpasses and red brick townships and cool Green mountains and Painted Desert swirls and deep blue lakes and sloping forests and Cliffside communities. Not a cloud in the sky! Never more clear! Never more brilliant was the sky! But, suddenly there was a disturbance in the wave of perfect understanding. A roaring sinking mechanical Hell of sound and vibration infected the perfect communion of man and nature and life like an Anthrax of the Heart. Waking from the small moment of magical feeling and dreamlike epiphany Martin raised his head up to look. It was wrong! So very wrong and out of place. It was flying much too low. Much too low! It was against the beauty of the sky and against the laws of Nature and Man. It was against Time and counterpoised to any Ideal of Love. It was the antithesis of Love! It was against his personal revelation of Love! It was a creation of Hate and Evil and Martin cursed the sound. It flew past him and then out of sight after the moment and there was a God- awful pause. Stop.
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peripeteia



Joined: 22 Sep 2002
Posts: 1173
Location: Nova Scotia

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2004 9:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

good show James, I think you have not only the gift of gab but how to write too, keep it up you're doing great and why stop when you are on a roll

kate
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A vision sent me on the path of seeking justice for Chandra, nothing I've seen in print to date has diminished the vividness but only served to reaffirm the validity of this vision.
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